I LEARNED MORE AT MCDONALD'S THAN AT COLLEGE

Can working at McDonald's better prepare a young adult for life than attending college? For Haverford undergraduate Olivia Legaspi, college taught her that her feelings are more important than anything; but working at McDonald's she learned that serving others comes first. Which of those lessons is more important? Olivia Legaspi explains.

Here’s what I was told during my freshman orientation at Haverford College:

Ask for help when you need it.
Speak up when you feel uncomfortable.
Place your own well-being above all other concerns.

In short, the school was ready to protect me from any personal slights or hurt feelings I might suffer. What counted as a personal slight or similar offense was up to me to define.

This surprised me.

It surprised me because at McDonald’s, where I worked before I started school, acting in this way would have probably cost me my job, a job I needed in order to go to college. 

The most important thing at McDonald’s was not how I felt but how my customers felt. It was my job and the job of everyone working there to make others – namely, the customers – happy.

I worked at the front counter. That meant that if there was a problem with an order, I had to deal with it.  

The issues weren’t complicated. It was usually something like a missing piece of cheese from a McDouble, or whipped cream on a milkshake when they hadn’t wanted any. Whatever it was, I had to listen patiently and mentally take notes so that I could report the relevant details to someone who could actually correct the problem.

Oddly enough, customers were not interested in carefully crafting their complaints in such a way as to spare my feelings. They were in a rush to get back to work, or they were dealing with their screaming kids, or they had calculated the cost of their meal down to the cent out of necessity and could not afford a mistake.

And they had a right to have their meal served the way they ordered it. If a mistake was made, we fixed it as quickly as possible and didn’t talk back. Even if I believed the customer had misunderstood some aspect of their order and was actually the one at fault, I was instructed to give the person the benefit of the doubt. Their feelings mattered more than mine.

At McDonald’s there was no “trigger warning” for when a customer was about to start yelling, no safe spaces to go to when the restaurant would get so busy that I barely had time to breathe between orders. When a group of men in the drive-thru would whistle and catcall me as they pulled away, there was no university administrator for me to run to for soothing and reassurance.

And from these experiences – the good, the bad, and the flat out ugly, I grew. Or, to use a word one doesn’t see much anymore, I matured.

I learned to take care of myself in ways that didn’t inconvenience anyone… Or draw unnecessary attention to myself… Or let my personal problems interfere with the work that had to be done.

In short, I had a job to do and people counted on me to do it.

Had I complained to my McDonald’s manager that I became anxious when the restaurant was crowded or that hearing complaints from customers made me nervous, he would have politely handed me my paycheck and shown me the door. I would have gone home and been unable to pay the student contribution from summer work that is built into my financial aid package.

So, I’m grateful to have worked at McDonald’s. It taught me how to better handle my anxiety; how to work with others in pursuit of a common goal.  It strengthened my character, my work ethic, and my sense of my own resilience.

These are lessons that cannot be learned in the “safe spaces” of the Haverford campus.

Here’s one more thing I learned: putting oneself first is the essence of privilege. But putting oneself first does not develop character or lead to personal growth. Putting others first does. McDonald’s is a far better teacher of that lesson than college.

Source - Olivia Ligaspi of Haverford College for Prager University.

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THE CONSERVATIVE STUDENT'S SURVIVAL GUIDE

Conservative students are vastly outnumbered on campus, and their beliefs and values are often ridiculed by other students, professors, and administrators. So, how can conservatives survive and thrive in college, while also making a difference? Matthew Woessner, a political science professor at Penn State Harrisburg, offers some tips.

As a professor at a major American university, I’m well aware of higher education’s liberal bias. I also know the unique challenges that college students with conservative views face. If you are one of those students, here are seven ways you can turn those challenges into opportunities for learning and growth.

1) Face Reality

The reality is that at most colleges and universities the Leftist worldview is the norm. Everything else is considered a deviation. This is certainly the case in the humanities and social sciences. Even the hard sciences and professional majors, like the business, have been influenced -- although, thus far at least, to a much lesser degree. Simply being aware of this ideological imbalance is a big step forward. It will help you think critically about what you’re being taught.

2) Seek Out Allies

The easiest way to do this is to identify the non-Left and conservative groups and clubs on campus and to join some of them. We all need allies. And we all need friends with whom we can talk freely. Plus, fellow independent-thinking students can give you advice on how to navigate the Politically Correct obstacle course that runs through almost all college campuses -- and where to find the few non-Leftist faculty. (They do exist!)

3) Avoid pointless ideological battles

It’s not your personal responsibility to correct the Leftist bias that permeates higher education. You’re not going to turn around the professor who has no patience for your conservative views, so don’t  try. It’s fine to pose probing questions, but don’t push too hard. The same goes for your fellow students who espouse Leftist views -- probe, but don’t push too hard.

Also, recognize that many left-leaning faculties are committed to an open discussion of controversial topics. Conflicts with closed-minded professors will happen less often than you might imagine.

4) Stay cool

If you do mix it up with a Leftist professor or fellow student always be calm, reasonable, and respectful, even if they don't return the favor. Think of yourself as an ambassador for conservative ideas. Coming off as a hothead isn’t going to help the cause. It’s not easy to control your temper, especially when you are being falsely accused of being sexist, intolerant, xenophobic, bigoted or racist, but that’s what you have to do.

Your opponents will look for any excuse to dismiss you as a crazy conservative. So don’t give them the chance. Remember this: the person who loses his cool often loses the debate.

5) Choose wisely

Consider a major that isn’t inherently hostile to conservative ideas. The hard sciences like physics and chemistry are much less likely to be politicized in part because the material is less subjective. In the social sciences, Political Science and Economics tend to be more tolerant of conservative ideas, if only because a proportionally large minority of the faculty hold views that are centrist or right of center.

For example, in the years I’ve taught at Penn State University in Harrisburg, the Political Science faculty have been, without exception, committed to teaching politics and policy impartially. On the other hand, Gender studies, Ethnic studies, and pretty much anything with the word “studies” after it, tend to be more ideological. I would suggest steering clear of these courses your freshman year. Wait until you have a little more experience and confidence before taking on these subjects.

6) Know your rights

If your instructor or even the administration target you because of your beliefs, you have options. Organizations like the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education (FIRE) who fight for freedom of speech, religious liberty, and due process on college campuses can help you. You may be in an ideological minority, but you’re not alone.

7) Work hard

College faculty value hardworking, enthusiastic students. Period. The easiest way to win over your Leftist professor is to do your class work in a conscientious manner. That’s your way of showing respect. Many teachers will respect you in turn. If you read the assigned materials, take part in class discussion, and show that you understand the key concepts, chances are you’ll do just fine.

As I noted in a previous Prager University course, “How the Liberal University Hurts the Liberal Student,” I believe that conservative students stand to get more out their college experience than their liberal counterparts.

Why? Because conservative students are constantly exposed to dissenting viewpoints. This opposition sharpens them intellectually and helps them grow. The secret is to be prepared.

Follow these seven rules and you will be.

Source - Matthew Woessner, Associate Professor of Political Science at Penn State Harrisburg for Prager University

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Every HighSchool Principal Should Say This.

If every high school principal said this, it would change students' lives and would change America. So what exactly should every high school principal say? Dennis Prager explains.

If every high school principal gave the following speech, America would be a much better place.

To the students and faculty of our high school:

I am your new principal and honored to be so. There is no greater calling than to teach young people. I would like to apprise you of some important changes coming to our school.

First, this school will no longer honor race or ethnicity. I could not care less if you are black, brown, red, yellow or white. I could not care less if your origins are African, European, Latin American or Asian, or if your ancestors arrived here on the Mayflower or on slave ships.

The only identity this school will recognize is your individual identity—your character, your scholarship, your humanity. And the only national identity this school will recognize is American. This is an American public school, and American public schools were created to make better Americans.

If you wish to affirm here an ethnic or racial identity—or a national identity other than American —you will have to attend another school. This includes after-school clubs. I will not authorize clubs that divide students based on identities such as race, ethnicity, sexual orientation or whatever else may become in vogue in our society. Those clubs cultivate narcissism—an unhealthy preoccupation with the self—while the purpose of education is to get you to think beyond yourself.

This school’s clubs will be based on interests and passions—clubs that transport you to the wonders and glories of art, music, astronomy, languages you do not already speak, and more. If the only extracurricular activities you can imagine being interested in are those based on ethnicity, race or sexual identity, that means that little outside of yourself really interests you.

Second, I do not care whether English is your native language. My only interest in terms of language is that you leave this school speaking and writing English as fluently as possible. The English language has united America’s citizens for over 200 years, and it will unite us at this school. Furthermore, I would be remiss in my duty to ensure that you will be prepared to successfully compete in the job market if you leave this school without excellent English-language skills. We will learn other languages here—it’s deplorable that most Americans only speak English—but if you want classes taught in your native language rather than in English, this is not the right school for you.

Third, because I regard learning as a sacred endeavor, everything in this school will reflect learning’s elevated status. This means, among other things, that you and your teachers will dress accordingly. There will be a dress code at this school.

And you will address all teachers by their title, not by their first name. They are your teachers, not your pals.

Fourth, no obscene language will be tolerated anywhere on this school’s property. By obscene language, I mean the words banned on radio and television, plus epithets such as the b-word, even when addressed by one girl to another, or the n-word, even when used by one black student to another. It is my intent that by the time you leave this school, you will be among the few your age to distinguish between the elevated and the degraded, the holy and the obscene.

Fifth, we will end all self-esteem programs. In this school, self-esteem will be attained in only one way—the only way self-esteem can be attained—by earning it. One immediate consequence is that graduating classes will have one valedictorian, not eight.

Sixth, and last, I am reorienting the school toward academics and away from politics and propaganda. No more time will be devoted to racism, sexism, Islamophobia, homophobia, global warming, tobacco, or gender identity. No more classes will be devoted to condom-wearing and teach you to regard sexual relations as no more than a health issue.

And there will be no more attempts to convince you that you are a victim because you are not white or male or heterosexual or Christian. This school will have failed if any of you graduate without considering him or herself inordinately lucky—lucky to be alive and lucky to be an American.

Now, please stand and join me in the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag of our country. As many of you do not know the words, your teachers will hand them out to you.

Source - Dennis Prager

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IS YOUR CHILD GETTING ENOUGH VITAMIN N?

If you're a parent, is your child getting enough Vitamin N? It may be the most important thing you can give them. But what exactly does Vitamin N do? Watch this video to find out.

I want to tell you about an essential vitamin you’ve probably never heard of. If you’re a parent or plan to be one, it might be more important to your child’s growth than all other vitamins combined. And only you, a parent, can provide it.

I call it Vitamin N. The word “No.”   

More and more children, I find, are suffering from Vitamin N deficiency. And they, their parents, and our entire culture are paying the price.

Let me illustrate my point with a story that’s quite typical. A father, I’ll call him Bill, gave his son, age five, pretty much everything the little boy asked for. Like most parents, Bill wanted more than anything for his son to be happy. But he wasn’t. Instead, he was petulant, moody, and often sullen. He was also having problems getting along with other children. In addition, he was very demanding and rarely if ever expressed any appreciation, let alone gratitude, for all the things Bill and his wife were giving him. Was his son depressed, Bill wanted to know? Did he need therapy? His son, I told him, was suffering the predictable ill effects of being over-indulged. What he needed was a healthy and steady dose of Vitamin N.

Over-indulgence–a deficiency of Vitamin N—leads to its own form of addiction. When the point of diminishing returns is passed (and it’s passed fairly early on), the receiving of things begins to generate nothing but want for more things. One terrible effect of this is that our children are becoming accustomed to a material standard that’s out of kilter with what they can ever hope to achieve as adults. Consider also that many, if not most, children attain this level of affluence not by working, sacrificing, or doing their best, but by whining, demanding, and manipulating. So in the process of inflating their material expectations, we also teach children that something can be had for next to nothing. Not only is that a falsehood, it’s also one of the most dangerous, destructive attitudes a person can acquire.

This may go a long way toward explaining why the mental health of children in the 1950s – when kids got a lot less -- was significantly better than the mental health of today’s kids. Since the ‘50s, and especially in the last few decades, as indulgence has become the parenting norm, the rates of child and teen depression have skyrocketed.

Children who grow up believing in the something-for-nothing fairy tale are likely to become emotionally stunted, self-centered adults. Then, when they themselves become parents, they’re likely to overdose their children with material things – the piles of toys, plushies, and gadgets one finds scattered around most households. In that way, overindulgence—a deficiency of Vitamin N—becomes an inherited disease, an addiction passed from one generation to the next.

This also explains why children who get too much of what they want rarely take proper care of anything they have. Why should they? After all, experience tells them that more is always on the way.

Children deserve better. They deserve to have parents attend to their needs for protection, affection, and direction. Beyond that: They deserve to hear their parents say “no” far more often than yes when it comes to their whimsical desires. They deserve to learn the value of constructive, creative effort as opposed to the value of effort expended whining, lying on the floor kicking and screaming, or playing one parent against the other. They deserve to learn that work is the only truly fulfilling way of getting anything of value in life and that the harder they work, the more ultimately fulfilling the outcome.

In the process of trying to protect children from frustration, parents have turned reality upside down. A child raised in this topsy-turvy fashion may not have the skills needed to stand on his or her own two feet when the time comes to do so.

Here’s a simple rule: Turn your children’s world right-side up by giving them all of what they truly need, but no more than 25 percent of what they simply want. I call this the “Principle of Benign Deprivation.”

When all is said and done, the most character-building two-letter word in the English language is no. Vitamin N.

Dispense it frequently. You’ll be happier in the long run, and so will your child.

Source - John Rosemond, author and family psychologist, for Prager University.

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THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE

What makes a man sexy? What makes a man...a man? Is there something about being the "bad boy"? Or is it more about predictability and reliability? Jim Geraghty of National Review explains.

Ward Cleaver, the iconic father of the 1950s TV Show, “Leave It to Beaver,” is… a stud. I’m quite serious. And, no, this isn’t about nostalgia for America in the 1950s. This is about a man of his time, yet timeless. But to appreciate him, we first have to get past the noise.

A loud corner of American culture has been rebelling against the image of the 1950s since, oh...the 1950s. Most of that scorn has been directed at the Ozzie-and-Harriet image of American suburban bliss, specifically “dad.” Well, enough already. Can we at least entertain the idea that in the rejection of that stereotypical 1950s suburban dad image, we threw some metaphorical babies out with the bathwater? That if today’s men modeled Ward Cleaver, America and the world would be better placed? Sure, compared to current pop icons, he comes across as boring and buttoned-down. But it’s a very incomplete picture.

Of Ward Cleaver, we can also say this: He’s a man who takes care of business. He doesn’t make excuses. He doesn’t whine. He doesn’t brood in defeat. He knows that his hard work and persistence will eventually win the day, if not this day. And there’s a lot he’s simply outgrown. He never had any interest in perpetuating his own adolescence. He’s a grown-up who accepts marriage and fatherhood as the life of an adult.

Now, we can quibble about his methods, but we can’t dispute that he loves his wife and kids, that they know he loves them, and that he tries to do what’s best for them—usually pretty successfully. What is not in dispute is that he’s the man of the house, that he wears that title with pride, and everyone, including his wife, likes that fact.

Ward wasn’t alone. There were lots of other iconic dads of that era: Ozzie Nelson of “The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet;” Jim Anderson from “Father Knows Best;” one could argue George Bailey in the 1946 film, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” They were grown-ups who had already been through a Great Depression and, in many cases, were veterans of World War II or, later, the Korean War.

Their archetype outlasted the 1950s—Steve Douglas of “My Three Sons,” Mike Brady of “The Brady Bunch,” Howard Cunningham in “Happy Days,” and Cliff Huxtable in “The Cosby Show” (we’re talking TV characters here) shared similar traits. Like all human beings who have ever lived and whoever will live, these men had flaws. But in the end, they were solid and dependable. If you had to summarize them in one word, that word would be “responsible.”

Maybe they seem like such throwbacks now because so much of our culture has thoroughly embraced irresponsibility. But if you ask women what they really want in a man— or at least all those women who have grown out of their adolescent fascination with bad boys – they may not say Ward Cleaver, but they’ll describe most, if not all, of his traits: Reliable; trustworthy; smart; confident, but not smug. Funny and capable of laughing at himself. A man who’s successful at work, but not a workaholic. A man who likes children, but is not a child himself. Perhaps most importantly, devoted to his family. It’s an indisputably masculine figure. And make no mistake, that’s what most women want and what all children need.

Now, I’m not saying that the Ward Cleavers of the world is off-limits to criticism or even mockery; I’m just pointing out that there was a time not that long ago when men were expected to work hard, be good husbands, neighbors and friends; to raise children and to act as role models for the next generation. Sure, laugh at them, but remember they are what our world is built on.

And here is where Ward Cleaver fits in today, where he’s never gone out of style – not really: Getting married, being a father, working your way to owning a home. These are probably the best things that will ever happen to most of us. Our culture snickers at Ward Cleaver types, but it is propagating a falsehood when it paints them as stifled, miserable, hollowed-out men yearning for their carefree bachelor days and regretting their commitments. What leaves a man depressed and hollow inside is no attachments, but the lack of them.

Consider this: If all the slackers in the world disappeared tomorrow, the video game industry would collapse, but if all the Ward Cleavers of the world disappeared tomorrow, civilization would collapse.

Source - Jim Geraghty of The National Review for Prager University

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COLLEGE MADE ME A CONSERVATIVE

Jay Stephens went into her elite liberal arts college a social justice warrior....and graduated as a get-off-my-lawn conservative. How did that happen? Watch Jay's story.

Have you ever heard the old saying that a conservative is just a liberal who got mugged?

Well, I got mugged – to the tune of $60,000 a year. It’s called “tuition.”

Like everyone who cons themselves into attending a liberal arts college, I was captivated by the idea of changing the world. I would immerse myself in a diverse pool of academic thought, theory, and action.

Well…it didn’t quite work out that way.

Over the course of four years, I was transformed from a plucky, free-thinking free spirit into a cranky, get-off-my-lawn conservative.

The process started not long after I arrived at my elite East Coast school. I thought I was there to expand my knowledge of the world; to debate the great ideas. I soon realized, however, that my professors had something else in mind.

Invariably each class followed the same monotonous ritual: identify a problem – say, racism; blow it up beyond all proportion; blame the problem on the white majority culture; and then offer an unworkable solution – usually involving the government. 

Everywhere I turned, I saw political correctness. At first, I just rolled with it. Then, I got annoyed. Then, it started to tick me off.

I was being brainwashed.

Indoctrinated.

And I was paying for the privilege – with borrowed money!

Almost every speaker who came to campus was a leftist journalist, a leftist activist, or a leftist professor from another leftist school.

The ones who weren’t leftists were just weird. One time, I attended a film lecture given by a very skilled paraplegic adult film star who showed us some of her “art.” Another time, I went to a performance given by a woman who engaged in auto-eroticism behind a curtain.

I couldn’t deal with it – the PC culture, the mono thinking, the weirdness.  I needed some way to cope. So, I got high – almost every day.

Parenthetically, most of the worst stoners I knew are now working in finance or politics. In fact, this is what made me first realize that I was a fan of limited government. I do not trust these goofs to make policy. Their power must be constrained.

This brings me to another black hole in the college experience: useless majors – the only thing more pervasive than marijuana and irresponsible future leaders. I'm not being judgmental here: I have a degree in film and media studies and political science. Why did I choose them? Because they’re subjects I like talking about. Practical, right?

But I was not alone. Most of my peers also chose to spend their student loan money on subjects better learned on YouTube or Turner Classic Movies.

By the time graduation approached, none of us had developed any actual job skills.

And people want to raise taxes to pay for free college for everyone? Are you kidding me? No. Just…no. I'd only give a free education to a smart kid who promised to get a degree in whatever the exact opposite of my degree is.

And that degree didn’t come cheap.

I took on tens of thousands of dollars of debt, but never spent a minute learning how to manage it. No such classes were offered. I might have actually learned something useful if they had been.

I didn't learn about taxes either, other than that the rich didn’t pay their “fair share.”

It was only after college, when I was lucky enough to get my first job, that I discovered the truth: the government takes away a lot of your money. Frankly, it’s shocking. And that’s not even counting the mandatory $400 a month deduction for my student loans. I’ll be probably have that albatross around my neck for the rest of my life. 

Really, I can’t believe my peers and I spent so much time shaming conservatives for wanting to lower taxes.

A past version of myself would call this desire to keep what I earn “selfish.” The current, cheerfully realistic version of me knows this: I can spend my money much better than the politically-correct stoners who are running the government can.

So, I guess – in a roundabout way – I did get something of value out of my expensive liberal arts education after all:

Common sense.

Source - Jay Stephens for Prager University.

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Here How Self Esteem is Defeating Yourself

Is having high self-esteem key to happiness? That's what children are told. But is it true? Or can that advice be doing more harm than good? Author and columnist Matt Walsh explains.

I have no self-esteem.

I’m not saying I dislike myself, or that I have a problem with my self-image. And I don’t have low self-esteem. I’m just saying that I have no self-esteem at all.

Why? For the same reason that I have no pet unicorns. Self-esteem is a fantasy. It’s a meaningless fabrication that exists only in your imagination.

The dictionary defines "esteem" this way: “To regard with admiration.” Self-esteem, therefore, means to regard yourself with admiration. But is that how we should see ourselves?

If someone asked you who you admire, would you really want to answer, “Well, I admire myself"? Would that be a good thing?

I would say no... emphatically.

I was hardly a precocious kid, but I think I realized this “self-esteem” thing was a racket as far back as junior high. I remember when the guidance counselor at my school handed out a worksheet and asked us to “rate” our self-esteem on a scale of 1 to 10. Meanwhile, kids in China were learning silly things like “math” and “science.” Now we’re bankrupt and they own the country. But at least we all feel pretty good about ourselves.

In any case, there we were, facing the important task of arbitrarily quantifying our egos. When I asked my teacher why I should have high self-esteem, she said, “Because you’re special.” When I asked why I was special, she said, “Because you’re you!”

I found this an odd statement at the time, coming as it was from the woman who’d just given me a D on my last math quiz. Most of my classmates, though, quickly jotted down nines and tens. Incidentally, some of them would grow up to be unemployed alcoholics, but I’m guessing if they could take that test again, they’d score themselves exactly the same.

See, that's the whole point of self-esteem: to be proud of yourself even when there's no reason to be proud of yourself.

Of course, apologists will claim that self-esteem is simply about confidence and that you need the confidence to succeed in life. Okay. But if self-esteem is simply about confidence, then why don’t we just call it “confidence”?

Because confidence must be earned.

A student is confident about doing well on a test if he studies for it. An athlete is confident on the field if he practices. A singer is confident in her abilities if she, in fact, his abilities.

Self-esteem, on the other hand, can be defined as “unearned confidence.” The person with “high self-esteem” (also known as a “narcissist”) feels good about himself on the basis of nothing. We may ask him: "Why do you esteem yourself?" And his learned response will be: "Because I'm me."

Like a modern-day Narcissus, he can’t see the world outside the window because he’s too busy whispering sweet nothings to his reflection in the glass.

In a saner, less confusing time, people saw it the opposite way. It didn’t matter how you felt about yourself; it mattered what you did.

Funny – that’s what my parents taught me. I remember one time explaining very carefully to my dad that he couldn’t expect me to do my math assignment because math made me feel bad about myself. In return, he suggested that maybe I should study more and then the math wouldn’t make me feel so bad. “But in the meantime,” he said, “it doesn’t matter how you feel. Do your homework.”

It doesn't matter how I feel? What a scandalous notion. I probably should have called social services.

If this self-esteem thing was just another benign form of entertainment, we could just laugh it off. But it’s become a serious problem because of this “I’m special,” “love yourself,” “you get points for breathing” dogma taints everything it touches. It equips you for nothing. It won’t help you at school; it will stifle your career ambitions, and it will certainly wreak havoc on your relationships.

Sure, insecurity and self-doubt can also be defeated, but at least there’s a chance that they might drive you to be better. Self-esteem actually prevents improvement, because you can only improve if you first acknowledge what you’re not good at. But that process might take a toll on your self-esteem, so many people avoid it.

I’m not saying that you should hate yourself, and I’m not saying that you should have low self-esteem. I’m saying have no self-esteem ­– as in, stop thinking about it. Period.

Do good things with your life and you’ll have all the esteem you’ll ever need.

Source - Matt Walsh

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What's a Quarter-Life Crisis

You've heard of the midlife crisis. But have you heard of the quarter-life crisis? It hits millions of young professionals like a brick. Former White House Press Secretary and Fox News host Dana Perino knows exactly what it feels like. She also has some great advice for how to get through it.

Graduates: Even though it’s a long way off, you’ve probably heard about something called
“the mid-life crisis” – men buy Italian sports cars; women go on yoga retreats to Bali.
But I’ll bet you’ve never heard of a crisis you may be facing in a few short years.
I call it “the quarter-life crisis.”
I know a little something about it, because
I went through it.
Oh, boy – did I go through it!
When I was 24, a lot was going my way – at
least, on the surface.
I had great friends.
I had a great job on Capitol Hill.
I even had a great apartment.
So, why didn’t I feel great about my life?
I was working as a press secretary for a congressman.
I should have been happy about that.
But instead, I just felt…trapped – anxious
and uncertain about my future.
Where was I going?
What was my next move?
On the personal side, things weren’t much better.
I hadn’t had a boyfriend in years, and there were no prospects on the horizon.
Marriage seemed like an impossible dream.
I loved my friends, but I still felt lonely.
Right before my twenty-fifth birthday, I took
a personal inventory (I love lists). 
It felt like
I was falling short… almost everywhere.
I missed my college days, which seemed, in retrospect, so carefree.
The future just looked boring and hard.
That is what you call a quarter-life crisis.
And I’d like to help you avoid it.
To that end, I bring you three pieces of advice.
One: Get out of town.
Feeling trapped?
One of the best ways to set yourself free is to move – literally.
After years of structure – high school, college, right into a career –
I longed to be free.
I wanted to be able to leave town at a moment’s notice.
So I stopped accumulating stuff.
I only had one cup, one glass, one plate, one bowl, and one set of silverware.
It was one of the best things I did for myself.
It allowed me to be nimble in my life and my career.
Assuming for a moment you’re not married
(if you are, congratulations!),
you’re pretty much accountable to no one.
That will change.
Take advantage of your mobility while you
have it.
Go where the opportunities are.
But more than that, just go!
That might mean going somewhere for a better job, or it might mean traveling whenever you get the chance.
It’s a big country and a big world.
There’s no reason to be stuck in one place,
especially if that one place
isn’t working for you.
Two: You’re not going to become a ballerina at 25.
You’re still young, but you’re not as young as you used to be.
You don’t have unlimited potential anymore.
The last time you had unlimited potential, you were nine.
At this point, you’re pretty well formed
– what you’re good at, what you’re really bad at, what you like and don’t like.
I’m not saying you can’t change, that you can’t grow.
Of course, you can – and must; but you are
who you are, and you need to figure out who that is.
To put it another way, what is it that you want out of your life?
You need to make a realistic assessment of your strengths and weaknesses.
Again, lists.
This will help you take the next step in the process: setting a goal.
Okay, ballerina – not practical.
What is?
Be honest.
Figure it out.
Write it down.
Then, as one of my mentors told me before my first White House press conference,
 “Put your big girl panties on, and deal with it.”
Which leads to my final piece of advice: Meet the universe halfway.
No one is going to hand you the life you want.
You’re going to have to go out and get it.
But there’s a twist.
You don’t really know where your life is going to take you.
You almost certainly won’t end up where you plan to be.
But that’s okay because when you set goals and work toward them, positive things happen.
You gain skills.
And those skills will create opportunities
that never would’ve existed if you weren’t working toward something.
Life will happen along the way; things will change in ways you can’t possibly predict,
but nothing happens if you’re sitting on a couch waiting for your life to begin.
I have a lot of other advice that will help you – like, don’t skip the dentist.
But when it comes to surviving the quarter-life crisis, I think this will help.
Now, if anyone has any advice for my upcoming midlife crisis, let me know.

Source -  Dana Perino
 

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How to Get Your Child to Listen to You

Why is it so hard for so many parents and teachers to get kids to do as they are told? Because too many adults have followed some very bad advice. Family psychologist John Rosemond offers some useful tips on how to get the little barbarians to listen.

When was the last time you heard a child referred
to as obedient?

It’s probably been a while.
That’s too bad because the best research
tells us that obedient children are happy children.
And, from my experience as a family psychologist,
the parents of obedient children are happy parents.
Since all parents want their children to be
happy, the question becomes:

How does one get a child to obey?

Is there some trick to it?
Well, there are certainly are a lot of parents
who think so.
They believe that proper discipline is a matter
of using the right methods, techniques,
and strategies: what I call consequence delivery
systems.
Parents have been using these behavior-modification-based methods
since they became popular in the 1960s – seemingly to no avail.
Would anyone argue that today’s kids are
more obedient than kids were several generations ago?
I don’t think so.
The reason these methods and techniques don’t
work is that proper discipline is not a matter
of proper methods.
It’s a matter of a proper attitude on the
part of the parent.
Let me illustrate the point.
Let’s say that for a week I observe the
classroom of a grade school teacher who has
the reputation of being the best disciplinarian
in her district.
She consistently has fewer behavior problems
than any of her colleagues.
What is she doing?
She’s making her expectations perfectly
clear.
Which means, first, she communicates in simple,
declarative sentences.
She doesn’t use fifty words when she could
use ten.
The more words you use to communicate your
expectations, the less confident you sound.
Second, she prefaces her instructions to her
students with authoritative phrases like
 “I want you to…” and “It’s time for you
to…”
She says, “It’s time for you to take out
your math books and turn to page 25”
as opposed to “Let’s take out our math books
and turn to page 25. Okay?”
Third, this teacher does not explain the motives
behind her instructions to her students.
Why?
Because she knows that explanations invite
arguments.
Whenever parents tell me they’re dealing
with an argumentative child I know that these
well-intentioned people are explaining themselves.
They tell their child why they want him to
pick up his toys, for example.
And he argues, because you can always pick
apart an explanation.
If you don’t explain yourself when you give
an instruction to a child, then the child,
being a child, is almost surely going to ask
for one.

He’s going to ask Why? or Why not?
At which point… get ready for a big surprise…
your answer should be “Because I said so.”
These very useful four words – and no, they
will not cause psychological damage to your kids;
quite the contrary -- are a simple,
but powerful affirmation of the legitimacy
of your authority.
Say it calmly.
Don’t scream it.
Nothing good is ever accomplished by a person
who screams.
Last, but certainly not least, when giving
instructions to a child, do not… let me repeat…
do not bend down to the child’s
level.
Getting a child to do what he or she is told
is a matter of looking and acting and talking
like you have complete confidence in your
authority.
Bending down to a child’s level does not
look authoritative.
It looks, in fact, like you’re one movement
away from being down on your knees in front of a king.
I know, you’ve read somewhere that you should
get down to a child’s level when you talk to him.
Well, all I can tell you is that there’s
a lot of really bad parenting advice out there.
And that’s but one example.
Speak to children from an upright position.
That causes them to look up to you.
And that is a good thing: for them and for
you both.

Source - John Rosemond, author and family psychologist.

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Why You Shouldn't Follow Your Passion

Should you follow your passion, wherever it may take you? Should you do only what you love...or learn to love what you do? How can you identify which path to take? How about which paths to avoid?

There are only two things I can tell you today
that come with absolutely no agenda.

The first is “Congratulations.” The second is “Good
luck.” Everything else is what I like to call,
“The Dirty Truth,” which is just
another way of saying, “It’s my opinion.”
And in my opinion, you have all been given
some terrible advice and that advice is this:

Follow your passion.

Every time I watch the Oscars, I cringe when
some famous movie star—trophy in hand—starts to
deconstruct the secret of their success.
It’s always the same thing:
“Don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t have what
it takes, kid!”; and the ever popular,
“Never give up on your dreams!”

Look, I understand the importance of persistence,
and the value of encouragement, but who tells
a stranger to never give up on their dreams,
without even knowing what it is they’re dreaming?
I mean, how can Lady Gaga possibly know
where your passion will lead you?
Have these people never seen American Idol?
Year after year, thousands of aspiring American
Idols show up with great expectations,
only to learn that they don’t possess the skills
they thought they did.
What’s really amazing though, is not their
lack of talent—the world is full of people
who can’t sing? It’s their genuine shock
at being rejected—the incredible realization
that their passion and their ability had nothing
to do with each other.

Look, if we’re talking about your hobby,
by all means, let your passion lead you.

But when it comes to making a living, it’s
easy to forget the dirty truth: just because
you’re passionate about something doesn’t
mean you won’t suck at it.
And just because you’ve earned a degree
in your chosen field,
doesn't mean you’re gonna find your “dream job.”
Dream Jobs are usually just that—dreams.
But their imaginary existence just might keep
you from exploring careers that offer a legitimate
a chance to perform meaningful work and develop
a genuine passion for the job you already have.
Because here’s another Dirty Truth:
has very little to do with the work itself.
On Dirty Jobs, I remember a very successful
septic tank cleaner, a multimillionaire,
who told me the secret to his success:
“I looked around to see where everyone else
was headed,” he said, "And then
I went the opposite way. Then I got good at my work.
Then I began to prosper. And then one day,
I realized I was passionate about other people’s
crap.”

I’ve heard that same basic story from welders,
plumbers, carpenters, electricians, HVAC professionals,
hundreds of other skilled tradesmen who followed
opportunity—not passion—and prospered as a result.
Consider the reality of the current job market.
Right now, millions of people with degrees
and diplomas are out there competing for a
relatively narrow set of opportunities that
polite society calls “good careers.”
Meanwhile, employers are struggling to fill nearly 5.8
million jobs that nobody’s trained to do.
This is the skills gap, it’s real, and its cause is actually very simple:

When people follow their passion, they miss out on all
kinds of opportunities they didn’t even know existed.

When I was 16, I wanted to follow in my grandfather’s
footsteps. He was a skilled tradesman who
could build a house without a blueprint. That
was my passion, and I followed it for years.
I took all the shop classes at school, I did
all I could to absorb the knowledge and skill
that came so easily to my granddad.
Unfortunately, the handy gene is recessive.
It skipped right over me, and I struggled
mightily to overcome my deficiencies. But
I couldn’t. I was one of those contestants
on American Idol, who believed his passion
was enough to ensure his success.
One day, I brought home a sconce I had made
in wood-shop that looked like a paramecium.
After a heavy sigh, my granddad gave me the
best advice I’ve ever received.
He told me, "Mike, you can still be a tradesman, but
only if you get yourself a different kind of toolbox."
At the time, this felt contrary to everything
I believed about the importance of "passion"
and persistence and "staying the course."
But of course, he was right. Because
“staying the course” only makes sense if you’re
headed in a sensible direction.
And while passion is way too important to
be without, it is way too fickle to follow around.
Which brings us to the final Dirty Truth.
“Never follow your passion,
but always bring it with you.”
Congratulations, again - and good luck.

Source - Mike Rowe from Prager University

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